Call Me Maybe
by goodbye-means-forgetting
Summary: Poor Jo, all she wants is to date the hot blond from across the street! James is trying to resist him to help his friend, and the blond... doesn't seem too interested. Light Kames, one-sided Kendall/Jo.


**This is probably one of the stupidest stories I've ever written, but I was watching a parody and then I was reminded of this. I wrote it about a month ago and thought it was just too dumb to post. Whatever though.**

**Do Not Own.**

**xxx**

"Jo, come on, it's not that hard. Just walk up to him and give him your number," the tanned brunet said to his friend, who was ogling their neighbor that lived in the house across the street from them. The blonde girl, Jo, happened to have a major crush on him. Every time he was outside, so was she. He was at the grocery store? So was she. He was washing his car? So was she. You could call her Kendall Knight's unofficial stalker.

James would be honest and say Kendall _was_ extremely attractive. Jo just didn't seem his type. But that's not going to stop him from being the friend he should be.

"James. It's _not_ that simple." Said boy rolled his eyes.

"Do explain, oh Master of Relationships."

"Well," Jo started, walking back and forth on the porch. "I have to get to know him first. If I just walk up there and give him my number, he'll think I'm a freak."

The brunet scoffed, drinking from him Coke can and leaning against the railing. "I'm sure he already does. It's not like you make it a secret you're interested. You're practically everywhere he is." Jo shot him a look.

"Not helping." James held up his hands in surrender, and didn't say anything, continuing to watch the other boy across the street. He was _very_ appealing… With his washed out jeans and toned chest and dirty blond hair. Not that James would ever tell Jo that. It would break the friendship code. "He's so _hot_, James! The things I would do to that boy…" James just rolled his eyes. _He _would have a better chance than Jo would at being with Kendall, and the blond boy probably wasn't even gay.

"Then go _talk to him_," James heavily suggested. Jo's always been like this with guys, ever since high school. She'd drag on about them, but never do anything about it. "You never know until you try. Plus, I've seen you get over guys. It doesn't take that long, so if he rejects you, I'm sure you'll survive," the brunet added sarcastically.

"Thanks, James, you really know how to make a girl feel good about herself."

"Anytime, anytime."

A short silence passed, before Jo spoke up.

"I can't do it." James was about to rip his hair out.

"You didn't even move! At least _try_ to get your feet off the porch to go over there!"

Jo huffed and nodded, moving her sandaled foot down the steps. "I can do this." James nodded.

"Yeah yeah, just go."

Jo walked off the porch, smiling a bright smile.

As soon as she hit the mailbox at the road, Kendall had gone inside.

**xXXx**

"Jo. He's _right _there. Talk. To. Him." James made sure to emphasize every word so she'd hopefully take into consideration to talk to Kendall, whose emerald eyes were happily grazing different kinds of candy, looking thoughtful at each one.

"Jaaaames, I can't! What if he gets angry because I mess up his decision?" Jo said frantically, hiding behind James as Kendall turned around. James just waved and smiled as Kendall's eyes brushed past them, wondering what all the ruckus was. Jo sighed as Kendall went back to deciding on candy.

"Ohmygod James did you see his smile? I could watch it all day…" James rolled his eyes, getting extremely annoyed at Jo and her girly-ness. He turned around, placing his hands on Jo's shoulders.

"It's not. That. Hard. Watch this." Jo's eyes widened as James sauntered over to Kendall, who looked at him and smiled, then began talking. James nodded, a small smile and a light blush on his face as he pointed to a bag of candy. Kendall then grabbed the bag, thanking James with a hand on his shoulder and then turned and walked away. The blond boy waved at Jo as he walked by her. James walked back over to his friend, and shrugged.

"See? It wasn't that hard." Jo had a stupid smile on her face, and looked as though she was about to pass out.

"He smiled at me… JAMES. He smiled at me!" Sighing, James patted her wrist. Would this torture ever end?

**xXXx**

The library was pretty empty, aside from a few school kids who were studying quietly at some tables in the back. James and Jo were hidden in the romance section, James' face in a female erotica book, peeking over the top at Jo, who was currently spying on Kendall who was in the mystery section of the library, right across from where the romance was located.

James slammed the book shut, and placed it in a random spot on the shelf.

"So, you gonna talk to him today?" James placed an elbow on her shoulder, leaning against her. "You can't stalk forever. I'm sure he'd get suspicious since we're _every fucking place he is." _

"We are not stalking, James," Jo pointed out, scoffing. "We are _observing."_

James snorted. "Sure. And I'm the Queen of Belgium."

"Shh!" the Librarian hissed. James shot her a _"_fuck you" look, and turned back to Jo.

"So. Go over there," he urged, giving her back a little push.

"But James-"

"Hey guys."

Jo squeaked as she heard Kendall's voice, and smiled nervously. James just sent a simple "hey" and a smile his way and looked at Jo, nodding his head towards Kendall, who was obliviously browsing some books.

"I uh- I… Left my library card in the car!" Jo rushed out. "Be right back." James just shook his head, hoping Kendall doesn't realize that they actually walked to the library that was only a few blocks from where they lived. He seemed unknowing, so James didn't say anything.

"She seems interesting," Kendall whispered, looking at James with his bright green eyes. James just laughed, looking back.

"You have no idea…"

**xXXx**

"Jo, I'm gonna be honest with you. You're pissing me off."

They were back at stage one, spying from Kendall on the front porch. "Well sorry for being in love," Jo snapped at him.

"You're not _in love_, Jo!" James told her, leaning against the railing, again. "You fall in love with the person, not by what you see why you're following them everywhere!" Jo didn't say anything, and just looked at Kendall from her seat on the top step of the porch. "So go over there, and give him that little seven digit number of yours."

Kendall was currently washing his car, his skin glistening from the water. James willingly averted his eyes, and looked at Jo.

"Go." The blonde shook her head furiously. The tanned boy willed himself not to punch her in the throat. "Please?" She shook her head. He groaned and turned to face the yard. Kendall was finished washing his car, and his handsome self was walking over the where James and Jo were currently. Jo's breathing hitched, and James raised an eyebrow.

"Oh my god, James, he's coming over here," Jo said frantically. James nodded.

"Seems that way." They kept their eyes on him, the blond boy seemingly unknowing, and watch him as he walked right past Jo, who's eyes were hopeful, on the porch step, and over to James.

"Hey," Kendall said softly, slipping James a piece of paper. James' eyes widened, and against his will a big grin formed on his face. "Call me."

**xxx**

**Uh, reviews? I might do a Kendall POV version...**

**_Side Ramble_: I saw BTR in Raleigh last night! They were amazing. They asked the crowd what their favorite Beatles song was and someone said Call Me Maybe. Kendall goes "Call Me Maybe is NOT a Beatles song!" It was adorable.  
And James made eye contact with me. I almost died. **


End file.
